Teens Send Blowjobs to Haiti

A pack of US teens, struck by the devestation in Haiti, has vowed to travel to the be beleaguered country to give blowjobs in the earthquate-battered nation.
Southern California, where the teen blowjob craze begun, has offered its adolescent girls up to give comfort to the males of the storm-wracked island.
"We saw on the news that people are suffering here," said Mandy Pepperidge, 17, of Simi Valley, " we thought that it's the least we can do, given the fact that we're on our knees pretty much 24/7 here."
The teens realized that the oral sex would not guarantee them a place in Showtimes movie of the week. Nontheless, they were rushed to Catholic hospitals in hastity put-together schoolgirl outfits.
"They said the uniforms would be a huge turn-on on the net, so we all changed into the skimpy tartan outfits," said Auruara Snow, sex kitten of the next 24 hours on Justbarelywithmuffschool.com.
The males of Haiti were reportedly appreciative of the unexpected attention, and posted their activities on the net with the girls as soon as possible. "It is, how you say, unusual for California teens to treat us with such great respect and comfort," said Pierre Jones-Hugenout, beneficiacy of the US aid.
Some on the island said that men had been praying to the Voodoo Goddess Angelique Boutique for the aformentioned favors. "Angelique has answered our prayers," said one man, "the entire island has gained release with appreciation."
However, Elaine Mables, author of the book "Don't Go Back to Cocksville," has maintained that showcase projects like the Haiti effort simply reinforce the status quo.
"For God Sake,we've got an entire generation for whom the blowjob is equivalent to a firm handshake," she said. She suggested alternatives such as bowing and scraping.
"Someday soon in this country the assfuck is going to be the greeting of choice," she said. Let's make sure everyone is safe in performing this soon-to-be-pleasantry, she said.