I finally stole Rambler's list of links and made them mine. Read me and justify my existence. At the very least, check out the rise of "Sharking," a new and extremely disturbing/sickly fascinating trend from Japan and now, of course, LA that I have somehow missed. Start with "Fear the Shark" and see what the globe's finest voyeurs have come up with now courtesy of the Internet.
Rambler can now only be contacted through Ryan Seacrest, or, God help you, picking up a phone, thereby setting off an earthquake when/if all that weight is picked up on the other coast.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Walsh McGuire is Out to Get Me
I've now figured out the mysterious phenomenon of Asian-characters appearing in my blog responses: It's Walsh McGuire.
When Walsh was studying Chinese in Washington, Lux and myself would leave pidgen-Mandarin gibberish messages on his answering machine. Soft-hearted tortured-poet Haverford grad Walsh was the perfect target, and we of course thought that line of study was the equivalent of bird-call analysis in the Aleutian Islands.
Now Walsh is a business mogul in Taiwan and Hong Kong, and I'm now certain he's handing me verbal dunce-caps at every chance possible now that Hari-Kari is starting to look like a good career move for me.
A thousand pardons, Walshire.
When Walsh was studying Chinese in Washington, Lux and myself would leave pidgen-Mandarin gibberish messages on his answering machine. Soft-hearted tortured-poet Haverford grad Walsh was the perfect target, and we of course thought that line of study was the equivalent of bird-call analysis in the Aleutian Islands.
Now Walsh is a business mogul in Taiwan and Hong Kong, and I'm now certain he's handing me verbal dunce-caps at every chance possible now that Hari-Kari is starting to look like a good career move for me.
A thousand pardons, Walshire.
From the Land of the Rising Moon
Apparently "Sharking" originated in Japan! Yes, this practice of raising a girl's skirt and pulling down her panties (or "bottom sharking") can be found in weird vids from that land of totally restrained people. There's a lot of footage in rail and subway stations, though I have not seen the related phenomenon of ejaculating suddenly on unsuspecting women (the trains are too crowded to even let your shark out to play anyway).
What would Shamu say? (wait, he's actually a whale).
What would Shamu say? (wait, he's actually a whale).
Barrage of the Asian Blog-Spam
I don't know whether Confucius has become a fan of my blog, but I keep getting these weird Asian-language responses to my entries. I have no idea what they say, but thanks to my new friends in the Far East.
Hollywood for Ugly People
This is one of the greatest descriptions of DC I've ever heard, but it strikes at something that gives me hope in my waning years. Washington is one of the few places left for wise old men.
Yes, you can look, like half the Senate, like Deputy Dawg, but your opinion is actually respected more as you grow older (hint to the hedonist left coast - it's called experience. Land of the Lotus Eaters, sycophants - a lot of big words and phrases to throw at what is some degree of the Good Life out there, and we know it.
But someone has to be the grown-ups here, and like the Roman Senate, it's left to a lot of rich old men, still, mostly. (hint to the West Coast; Rome was an empire and Republic sometime before 1979, before which the earth consisted only of Sea World and was ruled by Shamu the Whale)
Still, DC's attempts at hipness often verge on the pathetic. The fact that new restaurants in the old downtown (I know it sounds strange)were starting to use a lot of glass and chrome was seized upon by the NYT as evidence that the city now was starting to have places just like those in real sophisticated big cities.
But at least, unlike LA, we don't measure time as the space between face-lifts, provides some solace to the old and in the way in a society obsessed with youth and superficial beauty. Now if only we could get some Supermarket rags dedicated to the fabulous, hot stars of the Ways & Means Committee.
Yes, you can look, like half the Senate, like Deputy Dawg, but your opinion is actually respected more as you grow older (hint to the hedonist left coast - it's called experience. Land of the Lotus Eaters, sycophants - a lot of big words and phrases to throw at what is some degree of the Good Life out there, and we know it.
But someone has to be the grown-ups here, and like the Roman Senate, it's left to a lot of rich old men, still, mostly. (hint to the West Coast; Rome was an empire and Republic sometime before 1979, before which the earth consisted only of Sea World and was ruled by Shamu the Whale)
Still, DC's attempts at hipness often verge on the pathetic. The fact that new restaurants in the old downtown (I know it sounds strange)were starting to use a lot of glass and chrome was seized upon by the NYT as evidence that the city now was starting to have places just like those in real sophisticated big cities.
But at least, unlike LA, we don't measure time as the space between face-lifts, provides some solace to the old and in the way in a society obsessed with youth and superficial beauty. Now if only we could get some Supermarket rags dedicated to the fabulous, hot stars of the Ways & Means Committee.
Fear the Shark in LA
A clicked-on mail entry in Yahoo got me to the most bizarre site I'd recently seen; one about "Sharking." Sharking is apparenty going up to strange women and either ripping or taking down (or up) their clothes in public, or it is the practice of approaching strange women, with you covered in a hoodie, and jacking off on them at a Starbucks or wherever.
Needless to say, this sounds pretty illegal (assault, public lewdness, indecency etc. (assault with a deadly weapon?)) even in LA, where there'll probably soon be an industry built around it and girls from Indiana lined up to volunteer for the part.
Between making sex videos and public sex, I don't know how anyone can get any work done out there. Rambler, between your hanging out with Ryan Seacrest, or however you spell that cheesebag's name, please explain the roots of this phenomenon. The only way I can explain it is that the girls wear so little in the first place that "Sharking" becomes um, a release.
Years ago a former girlfriend had a man sit next to her on the Washington Metro and start wacking off. She just got up and left the pervert to his own attentions. Now that guy can become a celebrity in LA (Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight we have a real treat: the country's greatest "Great White" Mr. xxx yyy. Let's have a big round of applause")
The bigger question is still whether LA remains a lifesyle cultural innovator or just a holding pen for extremo-narcissists of every stripe. "Alternative lifestyles" are LAs biggest contributor to modern American culture. Would you like a shot of "cream" in that Latte?
Needless to say, this sounds pretty illegal (assault, public lewdness, indecency etc. (assault with a deadly weapon?)) even in LA, where there'll probably soon be an industry built around it and girls from Indiana lined up to volunteer for the part.
Between making sex videos and public sex, I don't know how anyone can get any work done out there. Rambler, between your hanging out with Ryan Seacrest, or however you spell that cheesebag's name, please explain the roots of this phenomenon. The only way I can explain it is that the girls wear so little in the first place that "Sharking" becomes um, a release.
Years ago a former girlfriend had a man sit next to her on the Washington Metro and start wacking off. She just got up and left the pervert to his own attentions. Now that guy can become a celebrity in LA (Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight we have a real treat: the country's greatest "Great White" Mr. xxx yyy. Let's have a big round of applause")
The bigger question is still whether LA remains a lifesyle cultural innovator or just a holding pen for extremo-narcissists of every stripe. "Alternative lifestyles" are LAs biggest contributor to modern American culture. Would you like a shot of "cream" in that Latte?
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
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