Mr. Jefferson regrets that he cannot atttend

Unlike New York, Philadelphia requires no test and license before becoming a tour guide. The head of the tourism board decided that he would take the various tour services (horse-drawn carriage, amphibious craft, and plain buses.)
I should have saved the article he wrote in the Inquirer, but suffice to say there were more than a few howlers.
The best was City Tavern. This is a reconstructed 1773 tavern/restaurant near Independence Hall. A tour guide told his captive audience that Lincoln and Washington used to dine there together. This of course would have made Washington about 150 years old, if the tavern was actually active at the time.
I took the test in New York, which is ridiculously easy ("what borough is Manhattan a part of?") A bureaucrat came out and told me that I had scores in the 90-plus range. This did no good for me, because a license is granted for simply passing. My high score didn't make much difference(what did I expect, Phi Beta Kappa?).
The money, what there is of it, is in foreign language tours (not counting Spanish because too many people know it). I did manage to convince a driver to come pick up my brother on Lexington in the 30s, for his birthday, far from our official route. He took the microphone and made up complete BS for the tourists.
The only thing tour companies should emphasize is keeping your head down. Literally. The double-decker buses can come right below electric wiring and trees. I guy I knew in Philadelphia got whacked so hard by a tree branch that he got a concussion. We need to make a documentary on this dangerous job that would be like that deadly snow crab-catching show on cable ("the deadliest tour").