Kegsy McKensie

Yeah, yeah I've heard it all: Scott Wilkerson had a great gig Saturday night. Here's the spoiler: I had an even better one.
First of all, I got a full half keg. Then I invited the neighborhood teens to come over. Though I heard them saying my name and using the words "Geek" and "Total Loser," they came anyhow, because they knew I had the goods.
Anyone familiar with my past posts know how the craziness started. I had a couple of dudes lift the keg, then aim a blowtorch through the bottom. After they had blown a hole through the bottom, I did what I do best: I shotgunned the entire half-keg while the teens lifted the container over my mouth.
Let's see Wilkie compared to that. Let's see that wimp take on even a Heineken Pony-Keg. Although maybe five dudes showed up (no chicks, no way) they still worshipped me, even after the five of them took the keg back to their places. Soon I will send out a photo. It's of me and the keg. It says "Dave and Friend." I can't think of a cooler representation, can you?

Yours in kegliness,
Dave