The Rape Room

Apparently Saddam Hussein had "Rape Rooms" included in every palace he had constructed, which were legion.

What I want to know is, who were his architects?

Imagine walking one of his palaces with Hussein. He would rub his beard in deep thought, and then say "where should I put the Rape Room?" Being that the palaces had dozens of rooms, this was not an inconsequential decision. One mistake and off with your head.

Or did he simply decree "bring me the finest Rape Room architects in the land!"
This may well have been a course of study at Iraqi university, being that there was a constant demand for them.

The position of the Rape Room was a serious matter. Right off your regular bedroom, or in a dank cellar where no one could hear the, er, guests?

I tried this with some local architects ("and this would be the Rape Room"), and they recoiled. You can't get good sexual assault help these days, I swear.

In a massive palace, it must have been confusing. Was the door unmarked, or, to avoid a mix-up, was there a simple placard outside reading "Rape Room." Much easier.

Before someone accuses me of misogyny, I will have to note that Rape Room architecture has come a long way. There is usually a full DVD-HDTV set-up in there, as well as the usual pillow-strewn genie-bottle room. Slaves from Kurdistan would be at their beck and call. Not a bad gig, if you can get it.

My place went south as soon as I hit the bars. I'd get into a conversation with a woman, then say "My Rape Room or your place, baby?" This somehow seemed to turn them off. Guess what I need are armed security ready to break some bones when the negotiations get to that point.

Sincerely,
Tourguide